so, i had a speaking engagement scheduled for today, january 24, 2015.
i got out of my car, linked my arm into my guy’s and walked passed all the cars in the parking lot. he said there were a lot of cars which meant there were probably a lot of people inside.
we walked in and there were maybe seven people inside, including the book shop owners and assistants. my nerves calmed out and i was satisfied for a second that there were very few people. but then my disappointment settled in. i had practiced and re-worded my speech in order to give my best self to the crowd.
my mom came out, and i told her it was not what i had expected, but she was supportive and proud nonetheless.
miss donya told me that they did not get to promote the engagement as much as they had wanted but that there would many more opportunities to come. she signed me up for the annual women’s exposition for this upcoming march. and there i will speak about the woman’s struggle and trek. i am excited, and prepared to share my story.
moral of the story, some things don’t pan out as we would like, but we must push forward.
i will maintain my resilience and push through the fog, because there’s beauty in it all.
how many times have you said that to yourself? you should start. and soon.
there’s nothing better than that warm, gooey feeling in my chest when i feel worthy of love. when i feel worthy of all the potential inside of me. it would take an eternity to wipe the artistry from my heart strings. it would take a lifetime to pry these crazy, little thoughts from my membrane. years pass me by, and i continue to grow. i continue to flutter under the wings of my ancestral spirit. i continue to cultivate my piece of mind – always striving for naked truth. any time and always.
how many times do you correct yourself when speaking/acting without awareness? always be aware of your energy.
the things you say, the clothes you wear, the way you glance, the stride of your walk says thousands of things for you. be conscious of the energy you put forth in this world. be cautious of the snide remarks you make about others. be resistant to self-defeat. hold yourself up high and rise above the bullshit and buffoonery.
if i had a song to describe my mood right now it would be on and on by erykah badu or tupelo honey by van morrison. i am feeling soft and voracious. i am starving for my own words – seeping from my psyche and blessing me with soft feelings of love and prosperity. there are providential spirits around my cipher, without a doubt. i know god lives wildly within me and i know for a fact that i am able to reach my highest potential when i am closest to this red aura in the pit of me.
there are things that i should be doing in this world, without a doubt, writing is one of them. my brown fingers were meant to flutter above keyboards, flip through poetry books and scribble mantras down. these fingers are a blessing from god and i must push forward in all that i dream of doing. i must push forward. i must cultivate dreams into reality.