flu blues

ugh – what is this?
weakness and ice
fever and crunchy
coughs and cold
drizzle frolicking
around me while
droplets gnaw at
my ill-fitted chest.

this can’t be.

limbs made of
phlegm and
sporadic thoughts
of clear nostrils.

this shit just can’t be.

they got me; i lost
all sense of smell.
the honey, lemon
and lavender is
too far gone.

my eyes are too
far wide and my
mouth is too
damn
dry.

first gig.

so, i had a speaking engagement scheduled for today, january 24, 2015.

i got out of my car, linked my arm into my guy’s and walked passed all the cars in the parking lot. he said there were a lot of cars which meant there were probably a lot of people inside.

we walked in and there were maybe seven people inside, including the book shop owners and assistants. my nerves calmed out and i was satisfied for a second that there were very few people. but then my disappointment settled in. i had practiced and re-worded my speech in order to give my best self to the crowd.

my mom came out, and i told her it was not what i had expected, but she was supportive and proud nonetheless.

miss donya told me that they did not get to promote the engagement as much as they had wanted but that there would many more opportunities to come. she signed me up for the annual women’s exposition for this upcoming march. and there i will speak about the woman’s struggle and trek. i am excited, and prepared to share my story.

moral of the story, some things don’t pan out as we would like, but we must push forward.

i will maintain my resilience and push through the fog, because there’s beauty in it all.

-jasmine